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The struggle is real: Here’s to growing my first cannabis plant

Plants are so much easier to raise than kids. With the lowering birth rates and rising plant parenthood in millennials, growing looks like the way. Recently, I took on the plant caretaker role, and here’s what I’ve learned…

Leave it to a millennial to be impatient.

Best Impatient GIFs | Gfycat

Depending on the plant you grow, curb your expectations on the sprouting. Like the title says, I’ve undertaken growing Mary Jane, so I’ll be waiting a bit.

With my soon-to-be green tree, size does matter. Your plant will only grow as big as the container it’s in, so plant wisely. At the moment, my baby is calling a week old Ben & Jerry’s pint its home.

growing first cannabis plant

This will all change when you reach the next phase…


So you got your big planting pot, so what?

If you want the plant to grow, you’ll need fertile soil and fertilizer. I find a variety of different types to be healthy for the plant, but what do I know? Composting will do well for any plant’s growth, so your food scraps will never be wasted! Organic material supports healthy growth (read BIGGER BUDS)!

Like waiting for the seed to sprout, your compost will need time to decompose. The wait involved is the most nerve-wracking part. The worry if your plant will come out right, or at all, lingers.

Is this what mothers who drink in pregnancy feel? Just like Guns N’ Roses said, “All it takes is just a little patience.”

From the brief online reading I did preparing (thank you, Leafly), rookie growers tend to overwater. Oops. Wait for the top layer of your soil to be totally dry before dessert. Water for your plants is great, but make sure it can drain.

If you’re doing a DIY grow in a makeshift container like I am, poke holes in the bottom if possible. This allows the water to thoroughly run through the soil and some unnecessary water to escape. 

If you have a balcony, rooftop, patio, or garden, I’d recommend. I’m lucky to have a private balcony, so no human or animal pests.  Be careful about the strains you choose to grow outside, as this Zamnesia article implies some are more suited for the outdoors than others. Being four days in now, I’m excited about the future of my now unnamed flowerpot.

Patience, my friends. The fruits of your labors will come.

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